Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Today's Puzzle: Cause and Effect

I've been pondering the concept of Karma today. I was asked last night if I'm concerned about Karma biting my behind someday when I have my own kids. Will all my old habits and jokes come back to haunt me?

My sister is finding this true for her now. Other than her son telling her oh so sweetly to "go blow it out your ass" and asking "does mom have stupid written on her forehead?" he's a good kid. But sometimes, when pushed too far, he reverts back to his DNA, channels all the things his mother said at his age and comes up with zingers like this from last week: "yeah, well you never should have been a mother." Ouch.

I was a good sister. I wasn't too mouthy, I helped out with my chores and changed nasty dirty cloth diapers when Klue was a baby. I might have been a stubborn child but I had a heart of gold and at times a little too much time on my hands. There were a few episodes of pure genius, I mean small jokes (ok pranks) that maybe weren't always in the best taste but were always Hilarious. Who wouldn't want to:

1. Teach a 2 year old to say, in a pathetic and wimpy voice, "Help me! Help me!" when wanting attention.

2. Swap out the apple juice for lemon juice to see if I can make Klue's face stick permanently in a 'bitter beer' type look.

3. Trick the older sister to attend a tea party with the younger sister where the 'tea' being served is actually water a la toilet.

4. Train my darling blond younger sister to on command say "Thanks for the Refill!" whenever I blew in her ear.

Is that really all that horrible? Will my children be (brilliant, genius, and ridiculously good looking) deviants constantly putting whoopee cushions on my chair and Vaselining my door knobs?

I suppose I should expect nothing less, especially after teaching my nephew this song:

"Grandma, you don't have to turn on the red light.
Those days are over
You don't have to sell your body to the night
Grandma, you don't have to wear that dress tonight..."

Oh Karma, I think I'm screwed.


Em Sizz said...

I have three words for you, Kate: HA HA HA!!!!!!!

Klue said...

I can't even put into words how happy I am that you posted that picture. Seriously.